Do you ever catch yourself in a reflection and truly see a glimpse of the real you? You can't ever really see yourself; the way you move, talk, gestures, etc. That's for other people to see. Anyways...i saw myself in the door today and i really saw something pretty....just the way i was walking or something. I'm not saying that to be narcisisstic or anything...not at all. I grew up not being one of those "pretty girls"...i mean...my parents always told me i was beautiful but hell...they have to! It's amazing how much our society puts an emphasis on that (i used to think that theory was bull btw) without us even knowing it. I never had self esteem problems, but i never thought i was pretty - i had no reason to. I just think it's sad that little grils, beautiful little girls, have to grow up in this *wonderful* country thinking they're not pretty...and later on...not desirable. Maybe if they thought they were desirable there would be less unwanted pregnancies and less STDs....they wouldn't have to prove anything to anybody. They could know they were beautiful and wouldn't need that to make them feel so.

On the other end of the spectrum, boys growing up don't have it much better. They have their own pressures...they are expected to be tough. Heaven forbid they break into tears or feel an elated emotion. It's just not the norm. A sensitive boy is torn to shreds in school (my brother being an example of one who went through that). Eventually when these boys grow up they've suppressed so much that they almost don't feel anymore. Now i'm not a male, so i really don't know that much about this because i've never actually felt it. This suppression can affect these men in a number of different ways... 1- they can't channel their pain anywhere else so they end up being a druggie or an alcoholic, 2- their lovely women end up thinking they're cold because they just don't seem to feel some essential feelings, 3- they have a major mental breakdown or midlife crisis....because they didn't listen to their feelings earlier. It's just an evil evil thing. I'm going to do something to make a difference....i'll figure it out this summer...

She's back.....fasten your seatbelts....